Story: True Life Story Of An Addict

8 years ago

Story: True Life Story Of An Addict

Me: Why are you laughing? Did I speak amiss?

Janet: Not at all. You’re such a funny man.

Me: (I changed my mood intentionally to convince her of my seriousness) Hey lady! Does it look like I am kidding? I hate when people take me for granted. Are you in or not?

Janet: You sound angry sir. I am sorry. Are you really serious about the kissing ish as my reward for this job?

Me: What else should I offer? Tell me, please.

Janet: I was thinking …you know…money?

Me: And how much are we talking about here, madam?

Janet: I still need the 20k bros. I wouldn’t mind if you give it to me this time.

Me: I can’t promise that. Besides, I don’t think I have such money with me now.

Janet: Well, just do me well sir.

Me: So you will do it, right?

Janet: Yes I will. Should we rehearse it now?

I laughed out hard for a while before I answered her. Can you imagine? Rehearse kissing? What a funny lady.

Me: Dem dey rehearse kissing ni Janet? No kill abeg.

Janet: Ha? I’ve to learn the way you kiss oo so that it won’t be a failed attempt. You know we have to make it look really good, sir.

Me: I don hear you. So, how much of rehearsal do you need to make it look “really good”?

Janet: I don’t like the way you’re sounding. I am losing interest already sef. You’re making feel as if I don’t know what I am saying.

Sometimes in the life of a man, certain flashes of thoughts do comes to our minds, thoughts that we cannot contrThe image I kept seeing before me was an unclad Janet. Although I have promised myself never to touch* her, no matter what, her presence in the house and the context at which she said those words, sparked a riot in my third leg. It was as if she was speaking directly to my balls. I did a quick calculation: If I tell Janet I wanna have s*x with her, I am 100% sure that she won’t bulge at all, save the IGG common to girls. Janet and I both know that she wanted than what I am giving her presently. Like James and John told Jesus Christ, Our Lord, she wanted a seat at my right hand side, alongside Deola on the left. Lol. I can’t promise that one oooo. Why would I even dare to do such when I’ve got the queen of my life, Ini already picked? Well, except something SUPERNATURAL happened, I still can’t see me and Janet in any fling. No; not on my life. Not that she’s bad or something, but because I have more that I can chew already.

I stood up from where I was seated and moved close to Janet. I held her hand and tried to lift her up with it. She released herself to my grasp and so was standing toe-to-toe with me, her eyes fully fixed on mine as she wanna challenge me to a fight. I held her two hands with mine and drew her closer. She began to breathe faster and became somewhat afraid.

Me: What’s wrong with you? You look tensed. Why are you breathing fast?

Janet: I don’t know sir. I have never felt this way before. What do you want to do to me sir?
Me: Just relax ok? We are trying to rehearse the kissing so it can look really good. (I taunt her again).

Janet: (After a heavy sigh) Ok sir. I don’t know why I am fidgeting sir.

Me: Close your eyes and be still, ok?

Janet: Ok sir.

I moved one of my hand around her waist, drew much closer to me so much that I could feel the strength of her b0s0m pushing my chest backwards. I also helped move one of her hand around my waist too so that the knit can be strong. When I noticed my Johnny has risen to a level where it could destroy my zip, I pushed my butt0ckz back a little so that she won’t read sexual meanings to it. She licked her lips seductively to make it wet. At the sight of her lips, mehn, make I no lie, I felt as if I was already pounding her. She’s got a pinkish kind of lips that can provoke the animal in a man. I tried to comport myself by reminding myself that this is just a kiss, nothing more! At long last, I planted a soft, well-calculated, penetrating and magically induced kiss on her lips. That connection made her shiver…and made me go gaga. It was just magnificent and electric! She removed her hand from my waist and placed both her hands of my shoulder, giving me the signal that this girl meant something different. This won don pass rehearsal madam. E don do. She started breathing heavily and almost m0an!ng before I broke off.

Me: That’s a good rehearsal there Janet. That’s the kind of kiss I want you to bring on that day.

She kept quiet. Silently, she went back to her seat and didn’t say a word until she left my apartment. She has gotten emotionally attached to what she called a rehearsal. Abeg ooo. I hired you to come solve my problem, not to add to it. I called her name several times but she didn’t blip. I don hear am.

Me: Janet what’s wrong? You’re not responding to my call.

No answer. Suddenly, she picked up her bag and started leaving. I ran after her and I stopped her on the staircase.

Me: Janet what is the problem? Did I do something wrong? Did I say anything harsh or did I…

Bang! In the twinkling of an eye, Janet kissed me again! This time, more passionately and emotionally. I allowed her have way for like 2mins before I broke off the kiss again.

Me: What’s going on?

Janet: I will tell you when I get home.

Me: when you get home? So you mean you’re leaving? What about your transport?

Janet: I don’t need it anymore. I have enough to take me back home, sir. Good night sir.

I hope this kiss no go boomerang sha? Person wey I call make she come help me, hope say she no get plan to overthrow? I rushed after her and caught up with her half-way to bus stop. When she turned around and saw me, she smiled, but said nothing. We walked to the bus stop and stood for a while, waiting for vehicle. We just stood there, looking at different directions but saying nothing to each other. To me, it appeared to be a soap opera whose end drew out great curiosity in me. For her, she smells a scent of adventure, like her dream is about to happen. For my mind I dey sing,

*In Tiwa Savage’s Voice* “I no do kele-kele no kele-kele love ooo.”

I don’t think I need to explain how I felt after returning home. By the way, she eventually collected Transport Fare from me, 2k. I hope it’s clear to you all that truly, Janet has ulterior motives about this whole ish. There is definitely something fishy about her sudden and silky show of affection towards me. Although that affection has been there since we met but the conditions and levels I placed her quelled whatever momentum she’s gathering. But now, a new sense of belief is raising its ugly head. That rehearsal don plant yeye hope for her mind. Anyway, make she dey hope dey go, once her contract finish, na Allah ba mu sa remain.

I do a lot of reflection as a man. It’s one part of my life I cherished the most, and I don’t joke with it. In that reflective mood, I thought about my life, my work, my siblings, what to do to improve my life, how to make people around me feel comfortable, how to be efficient, better and, as much as I can, be the best I can. I think everyone should try this once in a while. It is also called self appraisal. Put yourself on a percentage of 100. How would you rate your efficiency, your individual responsiblity to yourself, your family, those around you and, if you are in any, your relationship to your partner. It is often said that, “we are what we think”. A man who reflects on his life stands a better chance of making amends to whatever wrong he’s done, build on where he’s deficient and consolidate or improve on the good side of his life.

I was in my alone-time after returning home. Something in me kept punching me and reminding me of the wrong I wanna do to Deola, the wicked teaming up with Janet. I am always hard on myself whenever I am into this reflective mood. I rebuke myself a lot, even where I ought to praise myself. But in all fairness, Deola is pushing me to a garden I am not prepared to tend. She wanna make me what I am not. And to be candid, I don’t want none of that. I have to do what I got to do to break off this shackles Deola is trying to put on my hands.

At the end, I justified myself (that was rare anyway). “She just needs to slow down a little”, I concluded. And as much as it lies in me, I have to employ every [dubious] means possible to make her pump her brakes, hence the coalition with Janet. The only wahala wey I get now is how to restore Janet’s CPU to the default factory settings, to make her abort the notion she started nurturing. No problem now, I’ve got her right under my palm.

Cynthia flashed through my mind. Gosh! It’s been like forever since we last talked to each other. Eeyah! But no be my fault now. She sef wan show me say she rugged and stubborn. Anyway, lest I turn a bad guy, I called her up,

Cynthia: Hallelujah! They finally remember our number.

Me: Excuse me? What do you mean?

Cynthia: What I mean? If you still have your call history intact, check the last time you called me.

Me: Can’t you call if I don’t? After all, I am the one recuperating.

Cynthia: The last time I checked, someone came to see me at St. Nicholas recently. He even gave me 10k.

Me: Cynthia enough! This one part of your life I dread so much. You lack humility in all sense. Haba? At least pretend as if you’re wrong…for the sake of peace.

Cynthia: You these men sef. I know that’s where you will turn everything. It is always the women that are to beg, they are always wrong, they are the unsubmissive ones, rude ones, disrespectful and all what not.

Me: So what you’re saying is…?

Cynthia: That I am sorry.

Me: Hmmmm. Half-hearted apology.

Cynthia: Oh, do I need to go on my knees?

Me: I never said that. Besides, how would I know if you do?

Cynthia: Ok ooo. Mr, Uncle, Brother, Gentleman, Senior, Chairman Femi, I am very very sorry ooooooooooo.

Me: Thanks!

Cynthia: Are you angry?

Me: Should I be?

Cynthia: No, you shouldn’t.

Me: Fine. Got to go now. Just checking on you.

Cynthia: E se adupe ooo. Olorun a ranti eyin naa ooo. (Thanks. May God remember you too).

Me: When are we seeing?

Cynthia: Hmmmmm. That will be difficult ooo.

Me: Why?

Cynthia: I had to convince my mum to let me go out again oo cos since I’ve been discharged, I hardly step outside, let alone go to see my friends.

Me: Ok. I will come see you then, after church on Sunday.

Cynthia: Ehn ehn? Femi in my house? That will be serious.

Me: Am I not welcomed?

Cynthia: Of course you are ooo. I’ll be waiting to receive you.

Me: Settled then. Bye for now.

Cynthia: Bye bye ooo. Help us greet those babes ooo.

*I pressed the red burton straight*

I called Ini to ask if she’ll be able to make it to my place after her working hours,

Ini: Hmmmm. I won’t stay long ooo.

Me: Don’t worry. I won’t take your time.

Ini: Ok.

Me: Wait sef. Can I follow you to your house?

Ini: Why not?

Me: Your sister nko?

Ini: What about her?

Me: Won’t she complain if she sees a man with you?

Ini: That will convince her the more that I am no more a kid.

Me: Alright then. I’ll follow you home tonight then.