Must Read: Legend Of The Fucckers (18+)

Episode 7 years ago

Must Read: Legend Of The Fucckers (18+)

Lisbon Portugal


I had left Berlin Germany and landed in this strange city called Lisbon. It was in a bid to acquire European residence permit. The laws in Germany says that one must either have a Child with a German woman or marry a german citizen before you get their papers. Some of us who never wanted anything like a child or a woman to tie us down in one part of this big universe chose to look elsewhere for the papers.



Another reason was that the German police were closing in on me. They had found some illegal drugs in my room and had fixed a date for my court appearance. It was time to run.




I had the money afterall, so i can afford to spend even 20,000 Euro just to get the papers rather than one woman holding me down in one country for over 10 years in the name of marriage.




I had left Berlin that warm afternoon through Berlin Schonefeld airport to Palma de Majllorca Spain and then Lisbon Portugal. It took over two hours and at a time, i wondered if we were going back to Africa. I came out of the airport and boarded a taxi to the city center. Jordan, my Nnewi friend in Germany had given me a number of Francis, his brother who lived in Lisbon. I had sent some money to Francis to secure a place for me in Lisbon before my arrival which he did.



Francis waited for me at Madrid Hotel near Elephant Blanco Hotel before i arrived. He shook my hand and motioned me to follow him. He took me to a three bedroom flat where he had secured a room for me. I entered my room and unpacked my bags.



– for those who has never been to central or western Europe, most of the apartments and rooms usually have everythiing you need. You just pack in with your bags-



I took my bath and joined Francis in the palour. He was playing Poker with two other guys whom i later learnt lived in the same flat. Their names were Vitus and Kennedy.



Vitus came to Portugal from Holland for the same purpose like me while Kennedy was a football player who rented the flat with his name.



I announced my arrival with ”Ekene diri Unu”. An Igbo sentence that translated to ” Greetings unto you”.



They welcomed me warmly and i rightly guessed that they were anticipating my arrival.



I sat down and watched the TV while they played their poker game.



One hour later, i told Francis that i wanted to go outside and look around the city. Something i loved doing each time i visit a new city.
Vitus, the fat yellow guy jokingly tasked me to buy them drinks since i was a new guy on the block. I happily agreed because i had over 5000Euro with me. They packed their Poker and dressed up for the outing.


Kennedy the footballer had a small fiat car which four of us boarded and headed towards the city center.



– The city center was like a third class city in Germany and that was when i observed that all European countries were not the same. We headed to a resturant owned by some Brazillian guys. We requested for Crabs and Vino de tinto..





(Vino de tinto means red wine in Portuguese and Spanish). We ate and finished our wine. Then another wine and another and another. Vitus was a wine tanker that never got filled up. I got bored eventually and demanded that we go to another place.




I paid our bills which amounted to 411 Euros and headed to the comerce center called Rossio. (the comerce center was the point where they traded African slaves in the 1800s). The commerce center was also the place where all the Sexxxx workers stood in the evening for business.




It was in the commerce center that i met Lisa and Edora, two beautiful Brazillian girls. We were all drunk except Kennedy the driver who insisted that he had training in the morning and believed he should not drink.



The girls were tipsy and wanted some adventure.


We played with them for sometime before my friends decided to go home and rest.
-i was not going to let those girls go home alone. Assassins could shoot them on the road. So i deciced to hang on a little more while my friends went home. There were hotels everywhere and i had money with me. No qualms.-
I talked more with Edora and her friend and we joked about football and Africa and their beauty and my height and my perfume and why i left Africa etc.


Then it was time for them to go home. Lisa remembered that i refused to follow my friends home because i insisted on taking them home.
She told me to follow them and i did. We got to their car and i entered the back seat while they both occupied the front seats. We drove for about ten minutes and crossed the long Vasco Da Gama bridge into the other side of the city where the Benfica Sporting club stadium was situated. we got to their house three minutes later and they asked me to follow them up. We took the lift to the sixth floor and entered their apartment.




It was a well furnished two bedroom apartment with a lot of coloured candles in every corner of the room.




They offered me a seat in the palour while they went into their various rooms to freshen up and change. A few minutes later, Lisa showed up with a bottle of Mexican Pinacolada wine. She opened it and filled two empty glasses. She explained that her partner doesnt drink much. We sipped the wine slowly and chatted until it became clear to them that i was not going back to my place that night.
”where are you from” Lisa asked from nowhere.
”Nigeria” i fired back.
* I was in Portugal now and i didnt care what the Nazi skinheads would do. This is Portugal, a stone throw to North Africa.


I was just looking for Papers. I had money already and didnt fear being sent to Africa anymore.
i Had shipped over 30 vehicles from Germany plus some cash i sent to my mum to bank for me.





The Germans can send me home for all i care*
”What are you doing in Portugal” Lisa asked. ” i came from Germany today and i am looking for a residence permit” i said.




– i was tired of lying and i figured out that the fastest way to get whatever you want is to open up yourself and start telling the truth-
” i could help you but it will cost you a lot of money” Lisa said.



-Things were getting better-


I was drunk and didnt want to pursue that topic for the fear of making a mistake. So i asked Lisa to forget the issue and we will talk about it another time.




A few minutes later, Edora said out of no where that i should come inside and sleep on her bed. I declined, insisting that the chair was comfortable enough. She insisted that i follow her; and i did.
– who am i to say NO-
I was surprised to find out that it was just a bed for two people and there was no other place i was going to sleep except on that same bed with her. My excitment was building up, my blood was getting hot and my J0yst!ck had just started getting hard. I removed my clothes and wondered where and how i was going to hide my money.




I decided to leave the money inside the jean trouser and take my chances. Afterall i had more in Germany which they would Send if i ask for it. I went to the bathroom and showered after they had finished showering. Then i lay with my back on the bed and stared at the concrete ceiling.




Edora crawled onto the bed, switched of the main light bulb, switched on the reading light at the head of the bed and said
” Do you like s*x”