Must Read: Lost Of Virginity

7 years ago

Must Read: Lost Of Virginity

The bell rang once again, indicating lunch
was now over as I wiped the wetness off
my face using my long
sleeved t-shirt. I reached down to the
toilet paper dispenser pulling a piece of
paper off before pressing it against my
nose and blowing. I got up from the
toilet seat in attempt to pull myself
together and yet I felt so betrayed, so
used. The exhaustion I felt from my
lack of sleep mixed in with the heart
shattering events that had just occurred
now left my body in shock.

I felt weak as I stood there reaching for
the lock with a shaky hand. It took a
couple tries before I could manage to get
out of the stall and into the empty
bathroom. Everyone was now in class –
everyone except me and I intended to
keep it that way. There was no way I was
going to go back to class, at least not for
the rest of the day. A decision I was quite
content with and yet it was something
that I would have never considered doing
just a mere week ago.

I managed to make my way through the
school completely unseen, the hallways
were deserted and eerily quiet, the only
sound coming from the classes beyond
the doors. Within a couple seconds I was
outside the front doors, down the stairs,
across the parking lot and walking down
the sidewalk. I turned a corner as the
school disappeared out of sight, leaving
all my problems behind with it.

I pulled my cell phone out of my pocket
before scrolling through all three of my
contacts and then clicking on my
brother’s name and pressing ‘send a
message’.
‘Don’t need a ride after school, I’m
walking.’

After I was done writing the message, I
pressed ‘send’ and continued walking
down the street in silence.

Well, of course in silence, who else was I
supposed to talk to? Myself? Yeah then
they’d really have
something to talk about! I have no
friends, I’ve never had friends…and the
first time anyone remotely my age
even paid any attention to me it turned
out to be some huge lie.

Okay, stop thinking about Adams!

I could tell myself that a million times
but no matter how many times I think it,
say it, or wish for it, it’s not going to
happen. He was on my mind, is on my
mind and always will be on my mind.
“Skipping school? That’s kind of unlike
you.” The deep voice rang through my
ears as the image of the guy who helped
me up earlier flashed in my mind.

I turned around to see a black SUV idling
a couple feet away from me, a curly
haired boy had his head stuck out the
window looking at me. A cute smile was
plastered to his face as he eyed me up
and down.
“Jump in.” He said, waving his hand
towards passenger’s seat. “I’ll give you a
ride.”
“I don’t know where I’m going…” I
replied, because it was true, I didn’t
know where I was heading also I didn’t
know him and I couldn’t just jump into
anyone’s vehicle. I paid attention to
those after school specials
‘Stranger Danger!’
“Neither do I.”
“Yah but it’s not just that.” I folded my
arms as I watched the SUV move slowly
towards me, stopping .once I was
standing right beside his driver’s side
door.
“I don’t know you and I’m not just going
to jump in your car just because you
helped me up from my fall this
afternoon.”
“OH, you mean you actually noticed me
helping you up.” He spoke sarcastically
with his dangerously Sekxy voice.
“What’s that supposed to mean!” I was
offended by his tone of voice, even if
every time he spoke I got goose
bumps.
“I mean, I’ve gone to school with you
since grade one, Jane. Today was the first
time you have ever acknowledged my
existence!” This time he sounded
offended, maybe even a little upset?

I stared at him in disbelief as he began
to speak again.
“…and you still don’t even recognize
me.” He shook his head and then
continued. “Just jump in Jane…I promise
I don’t bite. Plus I’m pretty sure you
need a good distraction right about now.”

I was hesitant at first, yet his voice was
so inviting and he was right, I did need a
distraction – something to get my mind
off Adams and everything else that
happened at school today. I shrugged my
shoulders before walking around the SUV
and jumping into the passenger’s seat.

I looked over at the boy as a smile of
accomplishment appeared on his face.
“I’m trusting you.” I said while tossing
my schoolbag in the backseat. “So don’t
try murdering me because I promise I’ll
come back to haunt you.” I teased.
“You…haunt me?” He chuckled, “Jane,
you wouldn’t even hurt a fly.”
“And how would you know?” I folded my
arms across my chest and scrunched my
face up trying to look insulted though I
probably looked more constipated.

The boy shifted the SUV into drive as we
sped off down the road. The further we
got away from the school, the better I
began to feel but still I didn’t ever
want to go back.
“I already told you, I’ve known you since
grade one.”
His voice broke through my thoughts.
“Yah, But I’ve never even talked to you,
nor do I even remember ever seeing
you around.”
“No, you haven’t ever talked to me but
that doesn’t
mean I’ve never tried to talk to you…”
I was staring at him completely dazed as
he just looked out the window, not even
glancing at me as he spoke. Seriously,
there is no way I’ve gone to school
with this boy for so long and never
noticed him. He was breathtaking with
his cute smile, charming personality,
captivating looks and arousing voice.
“When…When have you tried to talk to
me?” was all I could choke out.
“When?!” He laughed, “All the time, for
years I’ve tried to talk to you, but it was
like you never noticed me, like you tried
to block everyone and everything out.

The only people in the whole school who
have ever been able to get your
attention were the teachers and your
brother. If anyone else tried to talk to
you…it was
like you never noticed…”

I shook my head, not allowing myself to
believe him.
“No…” I said, “People never noticed me.
No one has ever even talked to me, they
all just ignore me…”
“Are you sure?” He asked, testing me.
“Or was it you who was always ignoring
other people…so focused on your books
and school work that you just blocked
everything else out.”

I sat there just staring at him, wondering
if maybe he’s not lying, if maybe that was
true.
“Here…I’ll help refresh your memory.”

He said, while pulling into a parking lot
to Trophy Mart and parking. He turned
toward me obviously thinking the
conversation had become too intense for
driving. “Grade one – it was lunch time,
and you pulled a peanut butter and
jelly sandwich out. You stared at it in
disgusted before saying, “EWWW. I hate
P.B and J!” You got up from your desk all
angry and I turned to you with my
sandwich in my hand and said, “Here
Jane…You can have my Baloney and
mustard.” But you walked right
by me, like you hadn’t even noticed,
went and threw your sandwich in the
garbage.”

I had no clue what he was talking
about…at first, but then the memory
came back to me. I remembered that
was the day my parents had decided to
try giving me a different kind of
sandwich, but I hated P.B and J, at
the time, I love it now. But anyways I
remember stomping off to the garbage
to throw it away, I heard a voice in the
distance but I figured they were talking
to someone else.
“There were so many times I tried to talk
to you Jane, there’s a few times that
really stick out.” The boy continued. “Like
in grade five – you cut your finger
on a piece of glass while we were outside
during recess. For some reason I always
had a bunch of Band-Aids in my pockets,
curtsey of my parents. I tried
to offer you one but you ran to the
teacher, completely ignoring me.”
Again the memory came to me and yet I
figured the distant voice was being
directed to someone else.
“Then in grade eight – I noticed you were
reading a batman comic, one of my
favourites from the Hush volume. I was
so surprised you read comics and that
you were actually into that kind of stuff.

You were sitting on the floor beside your
locker, I was standing right next to you,
trying to talk but you never even glanced
up at me. I felt like I was talking to a
wall.”
“Oh…” Was all I could say, I mean all
these years, this boy had tried over and
over to talk to me and I had never
noticed. All these years I thought people
just ignored me because I was different
because I didn’t fit into their groups and
yet the whole time it was me who was
ignoring them? “So…If I have been
ignoring you all these years, then why
did you keep trying to talk to me?” I
asked him.
“I don’t know, I guess I just figured
sooner or later
you’d finally notice…and you did.”

I looked up at him with an arched
eyebrow. I never noticed, he just told
me.
“Sort of…” He continued, “I mean today
you actually acknowledged me when I
helped you up…I think it’s because of
Adams, I mean ever since you and him,
you’ve seemed to finally came out of
your shell.”
“Me and Jane?” I laughed, “Don’t you
remember…I’m his crazy stalker.” I said
with annoyance.
“No you aren’t, I thought you two were
hooking up…weren’t you out all night
with him last night?”
My eyes bulged out, “How did you
know?!” I pretty much yelled at him.
“Are you stalking me?” I felt the need to
jump out of the SUV and run away…fast.

His
next words left me frozen.
“No…But Jane is my older brother.”