Must Read: As Deep As The Sea

Episode 7 years ago

Must Read: As Deep As The Sea

He eyed her and shifted backwards, creating space between them.



“Were you born-again at the time?”
Sweat broke out all over her. She didn’t like where the conversation was heading.
“Yes, I was.”
He folded his hands across his chest.
“You had an affair with a married man, despite the fact that you were aware that God was against it.”
Her heart sank.


He began to shake his head, “What were you thinking?” His voice rose. He eyed her again.


Does he really know the woman he wanted to spend the rest of his life with? He had to be honest with himself. Marriage was a life-time commitment. Was it possible for him to love a woman who deliberately disobeyed God? He wasn’t even sure if she had fully repented. She could be prone to extra-marital affairs for all he knew. That was something he wasn’t ready to deal with in marriage.



A tear drop slid down her dark chocolate face.



Gbenga used to look at her with love and tenderness, but at that moment, she saw the disdain in his eyes. She doubted if he could handle her past. Could this be the end of their relationship? She shook the thought from her mind. She needed to remain positive.

“So what happened? Did he grow tired of you and left you or did you suddenly return to your senses and left him,” the sarcasm in his voice wasn’t lost to her.


The tears came in torrents. He had already judged her. She felt as if her heart was being crushed from all sides.



“This is not the time to cry. I want to know what happened.”
She turned away and folded her hands across her chest.
“What happened?” His impatience grew.
“I left him!” She snapped.
“You should have known better.”



She frowned and wished he would leave. She wished she had told him everything from the very beginning. She couldn’t believe he was acting so self-righteous. Was she the only Christian who had sinned against God deliberately? Wasn’t he at least happy that she was back in God’s good book? His judgemental attitude was beginning to irritate her.


Gbenga placed a hand on his forehead. He loved her, but, he couldn’t come to terms with the fact that she got involved with a married man. He knew God had forgiven her, but, he wasn’t sure he could live with it.



If he got married to her, he wouldn’t be able to trust her completely. If he doesn’t trust her enough, then, he definitely didn’t love her enough. Trust and love worked hand in hand in every relationship. No marriage could work without both.


“I need to know everything that happened Promise. I can’t get married to you if I don’t know your complete past,” his voice softened.


She wiped away her tears with the back of her hand. She knew she had to give him the opportunity to either accept or reject her past.



But, he was already showing signs of rejection.
“I left him. Till this very day, he is still searching for me, but, I know better.”
They remained silent for several minutes. No one spoke.
“Promise… ”



She turned to look at him. Her red eyes saddened him.


“Sweet heart, I know and believe that someone out there will accept your past and love you unconditionally. I am not the person.”
Her eyes smarted with tears. She felt as if he had just punched her in the stomach. She couldn’t believe he was actually breaking up with her. Did he ever truly loved her?
“I am sorry. I don’t know what happened between you and this married man. I don’t think I want to know. The truth is that, I won’t be able to stop thinking about it and I can’t trust you completely. I can’t live like that.”


Promise tightened her grip on her arms and comforted herself. A broken relationship was far better than a broken marriage. She slipped off the engagement ring from her finger and handed it over to him.
He collected it and pulled himself up, “I am sorry.”



She watched him as he took his leave. She could hardly believe what had taken place. He couldn’t handle her past. Someone that cannot handle one’s past isn’t welcome to one’s future.
‘Oh God, oh God, oh God. Jesus, Jesus, Jesus, Jesus! Hold me God, hold me. I need you now,’ she la!d on the sofa and cried out to God, her saviour.


*********


That night, Promise couldn’t sleep. She had series of nightmares that kept her awake. She sat up and switched on the yellow bulb. Her blurred eyes found the wall clock. It was some minutes past two.



She got out of bed and changed into her pyjamas. She slipped on her bathroom slippers and headed for the master bedroom.


Osagie and Blessing woke up. Someone was knocking at their door.

“What kind of children disturb their parents at two in the morning?” He grumbled.
“The desperate ones,” she sat up and looked around for her night-gown knee length jacket.
“Please find out who it is,” he pulled the blanket over his head.


Blessing found the jacket at the foot of the bed. She reached out for it and put it on. She stretched and yawned. Her eyes watered and she pulled her weight off the bed. She took slow steps towards the door and unlocked it. Her heart beat accelerated when she saw Promise standing at the doorway.
“Are you all right?”
She shook her head and walked into the room.
Blessing closed the door. She had known something was amiss when Gbenga left their house that evening.


Promise settled at the foot of the bed. Her red eyes felt peppery and she wondered if a splash of water on her face would help.



Osagie peeked through the blanket and saw his daughter. He groaned and sat up.
“Why have you decided to harass your parents?”


She turned her neck and saw her father. She thought he was asleep.


“I am sorry dad.”
Her mother sat beside her, “We are here for you love.”



She took a deep breath and exhaled, “Gbenga broke up with me.”




Osagie closed his eyes and opened them. He felt her pains through her words. He drew near and patted her on the back.
“I … I told him that I dated a married man while I was serving in Abuja. He said he doesn’t trust me enough to marry me. I … I thought he loved me,” she began to sob.



Osagie and Blessing exchanged glances.



“He couldn’t bear to hear the whole story. He just judged me and pulled out of the relationship.

Who does that?”


She reached out for one of her hands and held it. She looked at her husband again, he was close to tears.
“Dad, mum, I got distracted while I was serving in Abuja. I gave in to temptations and had an illicit affair with a married man. He was my boss at work, it was hard to stay away from him, but, that is no excuse for what I did.


“I tried to break up with him. I actually did, but, he chased me. I… I… I almost died. I got pregnant and he drugged me. He and his wicked family doctor tore my baby from my womb. I almost died. I had to come home.
“I almost died, but God gave me a second chance. God was merciful. He forgave me. I wanted to tell you… I … So many times, I wanted to… ”


Osagie wrapped his hands around her and began to pray. Blessing bowed her head and held unto her daughter’s hand. They prayed for God’s instant healing and His direction.
Promise felt light in her father’s arms. It was as if a burden had been lifted off her shoulders.


Regardless of how hurt she felt, she sensed the assurance that everything would work out for her good.