Must Read: Ibo Boy Wey Like Yoruba

6 years ago

Must Read: Ibo Boy Wey Like Yoruba

“Flow, why u dey waka like dis na?” Ilorin asked as the walked to where we would get a bike that would take us home. “nothing oh, i just dey happy” i responded. “abi na bcos u wear suit? na ur first day to wear suit abi?” Ilorin said, “u dey mad, no be my first day oh” i responded.

That day was actually my first day of putting on a suit since i was born. When i was in the university, during our project defence, while some of my friends wore suit, i just dressed coperately. I never liked suit.

But since i became an usher, i had to start wearing suit. “guy, heat dey na, pull the suit na, see sun dey shine, u wear suit and tie, u wan die” Ilorin said as we walked towards the newspaper stand.

“Man u, still dey top table, and league don dey finish” i said as we stood at the newspaper stand. “wáréh! We dey talk champions league, u dey talk premier league, make u see where una go reach for champions league na” a guy said from behind me. I and the guy engaged in a little football argument, i never knew that something in my back pocket had gone.

“Ilorin, make i load my phone here” i said pointing at a business centre after we left the newspaper stand. “sister! Give me 1500 card” i ordered. She gave me the card, i couldn’t tell the kind of spirit that entered me that made me immediately recharged my phone with the card before i reached for my wallet at my back pocket.

It was gone. My wallet was gone.

“Ilorin u take my wallet for my back pocket?” i queried, “wetin i wan use ur poor wallet do? i no take am jor” he responded. At at moment, the business centre lady was already raining abuses on me saying: “abeg pay me my money oh, as u wear suit like dis na thief be ur work, Ole! Ole!”, “eeeh!! I no be ole, dem don thief my wallet, i no dey lie” i yelled at her.

“Ilorin eeeh! those boys for that newspaper place don pick my pocket eeeh!” i cried out. “wetin we go do na, abi make we go back weda we go see the guys” Ilorin gave a nonsense suggestion. “no na, dem go don go na, u get 1500 there make i pay dis girl?” i asked, “na only 50naira we i go take enter bike go house dey with me, i no dey like carry plenty money waka” he responded.

I tried to think straight but it was as if i had a combination of seizure and partial Amnesia. I glanced at my famous Rolex wrist watch, it was 3pm. The wrist watch gave me an Idea.

“ok, sister take dis watch, hold am, make i go house go bring ur money” i said offering her my rolex wrist watch. She took a glimpse at the watch and said, “u sure say dis watch reach 1500? Bcos i go sell am if u no come back” she assured, “watch wey i buy 5k nahim u dey ask me rubbish question, take am jor, i dey come back come pay u ur money, if u sell am ehn” i threatened.

As we walked out of the business centre, i felt like crying. “My NYSC id card, my ATM card, My 3k, all of them don go!!” i was lost in my tots. A voice brought me back to reality, “Flow! Come enter bike na” Ilorin said as he was already seating on a bike. “who be dat? Who u dey talk to?” i asked him forgeting i was the person called FLOW, or was it that the partial Amnesia had matured to full Amnesia?

“come make we enter bike jor, na bcos dem thief ur wallet nahim make u don forget say na ur name be Flow” Ilorin yelled at me.