My Escapades In The North - S01 E13

3 years ago

My Escapades In The North - S01 E13

Read Story: SEASON 1 EPISODE 13

I was indeed enjoying my service year. Due to my friendship with Malama Aisha and my position as the President of my CD group, I had the opportunity to meet some top government functionaries and other important men in the state.

I became a regular at Malama Aisha’s house. We were really getting close and she was also my unsolicited Hausa tutor. But sometimes she made flirting statements like, ‘so, how many girls do you have in Katsina?’ ‘Girls would really enjoy you o bla bla bla’… I just ignored them and considered them as normal female talks.

I was laying down on the bed with Zainab one thursday afternoon when I got a call. It was from Malama Aisha…

Me: Hello ma…

MA: Dioxidane, yaya kake? (How are you?)

Me: Lafia lau (Fine)… Yaya Aiki? (How’s work?)

MA: Lafia kalau… Kana Ina? (Where are you?)

Me: Ina gidan (I’m at home)…

MA: Tor… Dan Allah abin da kake yi gobe (Please what would you be doing tomorrow)…

Me: Walahi nothing important ma… Hope all is well…

MA: Yeah… I wanted you to accompany me to the airport at Kano. My cousin is coming back for her summer holidays from the UK…

Me: Oh, no problem ma… When would we be leaving?

MA: Her flight would arrive Kano by 6pm so we would leave around 3pm after Juma’h prayers…

Me: Ok, no problem ma… I would meet you at home…

MA: Tor, nagode sousei… (Thank you very much)…

Me: Madala (You welcome)…

:) For my mind, I don dey learn hausa o… 8)

I was smiling in my mind, impressed with my increasing communication skills in hausa and contemplating how I was going to reschedule my activities for the next day when Zainab asked me who called…

Me: It was my Schedule officer…

She: What did she want?

Me: She wanted me to accompany her to the airport to pick up her cousin….

She: Hmmm, oook o…

Me: What’s that one for :-\?

She: Nothing…

Me: Talk to me naw, what’s wrong?

She: Silent

Me: Zee stop this naw, you know I don’t like seeing you this way… You know I care too much about you to see you hurt bla bla bla…

She: Must you go with her???

Me: Haba! Maybe she just wants me to drive her to Kano that’s why she wants me to accompany her… You know it’s kinda far from Katsina…

She: Are you sure there’s nothing going on between you two?

Me: Haba Zee! There’s definitely nothing going on between us…

She: Are you sure?

Me: Seriously??? Were you thinking I was having anything to do with her?

She: You don’t know these kind of women. They are definitely up to something…

Me: Haba baby, don’t you trust me???

She: Of course you know I trust you, but I know these kind of women. They usually have ulterior motives…

Me: Sweetheart trust me, she’s a good woman…

She: Ok, if say so o…

I dragged her close to me and gave her a passionate kiss on her lips. My hands were suddenly on her boobs and nibbling her nipples. We continued our foreplay which led to our second round of straffing before she went home that day….

The next day I went to work and closed around some minutes to twelve. I remembered I had to go to the airport with Malama Aisha by 3pm. I decided to go shopping for some toiletries and provisions. I took a shuttle to town and boarded a bike to the market.

Normally, in most parts of the north, every friday was a day of worship for muslims. Between 1pm and 2pm or 2.30pm, they usually had their Jumu’ah prayers. Most roads are usually blocked, because some of them get to pray on the road. Even when traveling on friday, when it’s time, the driver would usually stop the vehicle close to the nearest mosque for them to observe their prayers without even apologizing or considering the other non-muslim passengers.

I bought all I wanted to buy from the market and checked my wristwatch when I realized it was already a few minutes to 1pm. I went to the bike park (which was normally very busy) and realized there was just one bike which was about zooming off. I quickly stopped him and told him where he was to take me to.

Bike Man: Naira Hamsin ni (It’s 50naira)…

I normally paid 30naira or 40naira from the market to my house. So in the ‘spirit-of-pricing’, I told him, ‘ Walahi Naira Talatin zam nba ka gaskiya’ (I’ll give you 30naira last). I was shocked when the guy just hissed and zoom off.

:o Can you imagine!!! WTF is wrong with this one???

I decided to walk outside the market with the assurance that I would get another bike.

You know that kinda sun that extracts blood from someone’s body system? Yeah, that’s the kind of sun that was shining that day. It was super-scotching.

I got outside the market and realized there were no bikes plying the road. Obviously they had all gone for prayers. I was still waiting at the junction when I saw few bikes, but with passengers on them – obviously going for prayers too.

I decided I couldn’t just be stagnant. I had to walk, perhaps on the way I’ll get a bike to take me home. The sun was still scotching. It was unrelenting. I was still walking. No bike in sight. The solid part of my body was gradually subliming. The liquid content of my body was already being converted to the gaseous state. I looked around to get a store where I could get water to replenish my system. All the stores I saw were either empty or unattended to.

You know that scene where a man walking in the desert was about collapsing due to extreme dehydration? Yeah, that same scene was playing out on me.

I thought about entering any empty store and taking the water I needed, afterall they were not there to see me. I decided against it. It’s better to die of dehydration than to die because you were beaten by a mob. For what? For stealing ‘purewater’… Imagine!!! It was ridiculous!

I thought about just stopping and waiting till I got a bike to take me home. I still decided against it, ‘cos I felt I just had to get home and replenish myself. My lips were charred and my throat was super-dry. I had already exhausted my saliva…..

:'( Chai!! Who send me make I no take that other bike sef???

Jeez!!! If I could feel this way just by walking in this kinda sun for just about 30mins, I wonder what those Almajiri children I saw walking around everyday in the sun felt. ‘Maybe they are used to it’, I thought.

Oh, what I would give for the ability to teleport to my room right now! I had cold water in my fridge waiting for me!

I had TREKKED for close to 45mins when I saw some bikes beginning to ply the road.

Ah, thank God, it’s like they’ve finished their prayers!:'(

After some minutes, I was close to my house but I still waved down a bike-man and told him where he was to take me to.

Bike Man: Naira Arbain ni (It’s 40naira)…

I didn’t even bother invoking the ‘spirit of pricing’ again. I was even too tired to do that. I had already regretted not taking that other bike in the first place. Now I just wished I could get home. I just climbed and the bike man zoomed off.

In less than 5mins, we got to my gate. I was about paying him when I checked my wallet and saw that the lowest denomination of cash I had was 50naira. I gave the bike man and he told me he didn’t have change.

Can you imagine???

I was too tired to say anything. I just walked to my gate and opened it…

Chai, so last last I still pay the 50box??? Why I no come enter the first bike na???

I went straight to the fridge and downed two bottles of cold water, went to the bathroom and soaked myself under the shower for several minutes, toweled myself and went straight to the bed and fell asleep…….