“as in na im say make you no near your house again?” i asked in surprise.
“ehh infact my house just there empty o” he lamented.
“chai this cockcroach sef oo so wetin you go do now” i asked in concern.
“my pman na d.p.o but the problem be say e travel go ghana” he had told me his dad was a dpo, no wonder he misbehaved in public.

We lived in the same apartment.

The was a day i hanged out with joe in a bar along ikot ekpene, we were just chilling until a beauty goddess came to the bar.

Joe immediately left me and went over to the girls table. Unknown to him that the girl didnt come alone. I wonder why the girl marry at such a young age, i guess she was eighteen or nineteen. He sat down there and striked up a conversation with the girl. She just ignored him at first, but i was so surprise to see her laughing with joe.

Joe? He dosent lack words to make a girl feel special. Just give him minutes.

The conversation went on still a man came into the bar, men on his trail. His face expressed anger.

The man immediately went over to the table and held joe by the colar. Joe immediately reciprocated the action and they started fighting. Joe, being much like a macho man was stronger than his opponent.

Nobody made any attempt to separate the fight. They were all analysing who was winning.

The girl they were fighting for was no where to be seen.

He quickly grapped a good star beer bottle and used it on the guys korimakpa’s the guy slumped.

The management of the bar contacted the police. Within minutes the naija police arrived, every one ran for escaped. If them catch you na money you go take pay comot. If you see the race every one took outside, you would nominate all of us for the olympic race.

I was not left out as i ran head over heels.

The fear of naija police is the beggining of a race. Nowadays we fear police pass boko haram.

I arrived home panting. Police had seized the eight people who couldnt escape and arrested the two fighters. The other was taken to the hospital. Joe was taken to the police station with his partner. I was so surprise to see joe back in the evening in a police van, he was smiling. The policemen dropped him, shook his hands and left.

I asked how he did it, he only smiled, he didnt answered.

Sorry for diverting from the main story.
“so wetin your father for do for this one?” i asked.
“aah aah im for arrest and jail am na” he said.
“with no evidence?” i asked foolishly.

I forgot we were in nigeria, a land where you are jailed without a trial, a land where policemen search your house without a search warrant, a land where you are arrested with no cause.
“hahaha na question be that? ” he asked laughing.
“you know my father na” he added smiling.

It was getting late, i didnt decide about mrs sandra ”s case. Sleep was getting into me.
“ just call am tell am wetin happen, when this thing happen sef?”
“na today morning o”
he called his father, briefing him about the situation.

I saw a smile crept pass his lips. He then grinned ear to ear. He sure
have a reason to smile, why wouldnt he smile when his father had done it
for him. When he was through with the call, the first thing he said
was.
” chaiiiii popman say make i no worry, he go call him friend to do’GOOD
THINGS’. . Am so happy, i need to fvck a p—y now” he said stretching
his legs.
“make i go call babe for babe come. How many you want? Two go do you?”
he asked. I stared at him in pity. No be p—y put am for im condition
so?

He brought out his phone and made a call.
“hello…… Babe afa na….long time……no be like that na….i still
want you na… ya.. I bin the look for babes wey i go carry hold
body….ya… Hahahahahahah…….no….you know say i love you
na…….you go arrange like…..three…..hahahah no be only me
o…..na ma guy i wan give two na…..” chai i don die, two babes?

My heart started pounding, i thought joe was kidding, but as things turned
out, he meant business.

My only problem was how i was going to handle two girls and pro for
that matter. My dlck encouraged me with soothing words, while my heart
pounded away in anxiety.
“Ya e strong well well….. M name?… Bluestarry….ya…you go handle
am?….i swear e go destroy your p—y for you hahahahaha…..no o no be
my house o na for crescent street number 26….. Ya….we go talk price
later na, service before payment……..abeg make the rest babes fine
oo….e d here with me…k” joe gave me the phone saying the ashawo
contractor wanted to speak with me. I collected the phone with shaking
hands.
“hello” she said. What an angelic voice. I had heard that voice
somewhere but couldnt place where i heard it.

I prayed she should be beautiful as her voice was. You remember that
incident in the hospital with peace?

Joe had already described me as a bad boy to her. I had an alto voice,
so in order for me to sound bad, i had to deepened my voice.
“hi baby” i said in a deep and hoarse voice. Joe laughed.
“bad boy afa” she said.
“i dey hot oo i dey await you oo”
“hahahaha i hear say you bad gan”
“me too i hear say you worse gan”
“hahahah make e be true oo na you make me the follow come oo” [B] she said, my heart skipped thrice.
[B] “package well o” my dlck replied.
“today you go see p—y run”
“over my hard dlck, make we bet na how much?” my dlck said, i wonder where my dlck got that kind of courage from, if i have that kind of boldness, i dont know where i would be in this world.
“hahahahahhahahah” she laughed, joe too was laughing, i joined them too.
” no worry we go see, no be now you the bet”
“when una the come”
“mm give us 30minutes”
“okk dont keep us waiting o” she laughed and hung up.


I don enter am. I felt like running out of the house but decided against it. The threats she made i was sure wasnt an empty one. I forgot to ask for her name.

I gave the grinning joe his phone.
“you go cry with that babe i pity you oo” he said.
“you go feel me na i no weak like you ooo” i said. if only i knew, i had signed my death certificate.