Must Read: Ibo Boy Wey Like Yoruba

6 years ago

Must Read: Ibo Boy Wey Like Yoruba

guy, Femi say him laptop and him phone wey him dey charge here don disappear oh, and him dey suspect us oh” Ilorin said as i entered the barbing salon. “how e take happen na?” i asked. “dem say na immediately u comot nahim d thing lost oh, and them dey suspect u oh” Ilorin added.

“no be me take ur laptop and phone oh, wetin i wan carry am do na” I said to Femi, “i no talk say na u, but i know say na one of una, and we go catch that person today” Femi assured.

Though i was a member of a fraternity that our motto was: “looting and flexing”, and a commandment of looting was: “loot, but never be caught”. Still i never bought the idea of looting(stealing).

After like ten minutes of argument, “ok, we go know who thief the laptop and phone today, we go go babalawo, my broda na babalawo, we go go there now” Osupa suggested.

“we go must go babalawo, yes we must go” Femi added. My prime suspect was Ojiga, bcos from the look on his face, he was scared of going to babalawo. We all agreed that babalawo was the last resort and we left for the babalawo’s shrine. I looked at my famous rolex wrist watch, it was past 6.

I sent a message to Dami telling her to go home, that i had to attend to something important, that i would be back very late.

Since i was born, i haven’t gone to a babalawo’s shrine before, that day was my first, and i promised myself it would be the last, or so i tot.

At the babalawo’s place, the scary environment made me kind of fidgety, making Femi suspect me the more. Ojiga was more Fidgety. The babalawo spoke gibberish for 10minutes and started speaking Yoruba language. Ilorin interpreted it to I and Angom whispering. The Babalawo wanted all of us to drink a liquid from a calabash.

Whoever was the thief would instantly turn to an i ”mbecile. I was to go first bcos i was at the extreme. I suddenly developed this boldness, owing to the fact that i was sure i never stole the items.

As i took a sip of the liquid, i suddenly developed goose pimples bcos the liquid tasted like urine. “dis babalawo dey mad oh, na him piss him carry give us make we drink” i cursed as i managed to swallow. Femi was staring at me thinking i would soon metamorphose into an i”mbecile. He waited in vain.

Angom drank and was still his normal self. But when Ilorin drank the liquid, i was surprised, his walking step changed, “my guy don turn imbeh oh” i tot. I was wrong. It was one of his unreasonable pranks.

It was Ojiga’s turn. Ojiga the “Anini” was to go drink the “red wine” the babalawo was offering. I tot i heard him cried. He wasn’t crying but muttering something in Yoruba, something i guessed was: “i don die today oh, i go confess oh”. I heard the sound of rhythmical fart coming from Ojiga’s a”ss.

He was shaking like a Jelly fish, and staring at the calabash, and……………………………. He confessed