Must Read: How I Take Service A

Episode 7 years ago

Must Read: How I Take Service A

“I wear my cloth finish, luk my tym, 11.00pm
sharp. Jenifa tel me say mak I no fear, I go see bike
even by 4am, even if I no see anyone, she go kol ha
pesonal bikeman 4me mak I’m kari me go. I tank
am, stat de go my hous. I don reach d bar side naim
jenifa de run com wia I dey, de shout my name. I
stop, turn bak, ask am wetin b de mata, naim dis
babe stat de hala
” Wey dat moni!!?, wey dat moni??, na so una gode
waka around de tiff tiff anytin wey una see. Hand
don catch u 2day”
At 1st I tink say na joke she de joke o so I jus de
laff, even wen dis babe hook me 4belt i stil tink say
na play she de play. Wen I no say dis mata don enta
anoda level na wen oda ashawo dem stat de gada
small small omo naim I stat my own hala. I de hala
she de hala, one oda ashawo com ask am wetin I do,
she tok say I giv am 1k 4shottym, Bleep am, as I
comot she com de find d moni she no see am again,
say na me tiff d moni. Haa.
By den all d ashawo wey dey d place don round me,
I now dey dia centa. Dem ask me weda na me kolet
d moni, I tell dem say I no no wetin jenifa de tok, I
no kolet any moni. Som of dem de ask am weda she
see me kolet d moni, som de ask am weda she don
chek well 4ha rum, som de tok say na me kolet d
moni. Small tym one short wowo ashawo wey bin de
eye me wen I enta d joint but I no kol am, comot
4rm nowia de swear say na me kolet de 1k, say she
sabi me and I don tiff ha moni b4. Dem say dem go
serch me, I tell dem say I get my 1k 4poket wey I
kari com
“Oh u don tok say u kari 1k 4poket Pour but u bin
tell me say d 1k wey u pay me na ur last moni. tiff
ooo tiff tiff”.



I de try xplain say nobe me kolet ha moni, dis babes
de shout no wan hia wetin I de tok, de drag my
trousa wan tia am. b4 I no wetin de hapun som of
dem don kari stik omo dis babes tear my shirt, my
singlet, tia my trouser wan comot my boxers o.
Naim I target d one wey hol my trousa ( my fone
and wallet dey inside d trousa), I snatch am 4rm
am, she hol me 4 boxers, I hit ha hand comot, tia
race, I wia only boxas and my trosa 4hand. Dis
babes de chase me de shout tiff tiff, I de run. I run
comot dia joint, dem still de chase me, I luk wia I de
run go, police chekpoint dey dia omo I divert enta
bush hide 4bak of tree. I de hear dia voice as dem
de laff de tok say mak dem go bak.


I dey lyk 10mins dia, see say evriwia don calm, I
stat de comot 4rm d bush. I wan enta road naim one
car kari speed zoom pass me de go d diretion wia d
chekpoint dey. Next tin I hia gunshots.



D last tym wey I hia dat kain gunshots na 4america
fiim. I jump bak enta bush. Afta lyk 15mins de
gunshots com stop. Evriwia silent 4 1min, nxt tin
wey I hia na ” GBOOOM”, lyk say na bomb, dem
com stat dia war again, dis tym d e com be lyk say
mor pple join 4d war because I com de hia different
type of gunshots again.


2 army hilux van kari speed pass d place I hide. As
dem reach d place wey dem de shoot, e no reach
5mins everiwia calm.



Anoda bad tin hapun. I com hia as pesin de run com
diretion wia I hide, som oda pple de shout warn am
mak Im stop. D guy no stop, Im stil run de com wia I
dey. D army men wey de chase d guy de shoot diret
2 am, d guy still no stop. de run de com wia I dey,
my heart jus de beat wit full force, na so my own
tak finish. Wen I see say dem don de reach, I com
lie down 4ground, de crawl wit my hand de comot
de location, I hear one gunshot, evriwia quiet, I no
hia any footstep again na only d army men voice I
de hear. Wen I see say I don enta road, I luk left, luk
rite, I de wear only boxers wey don tear tear finish,
my fone and wallet 4hand, I tia race comot d death
zone, 2moro I go no as I go tak face dat babe wey
kol hasef SUG vice president 4d meeting wey she
call…


D kain pains wey i de feel as I de baff d next mornin
mak me swear say I nogo eva near ashawo house
again. Well, 4d mean time. Dis babes don use dia
shap nails tear my bodi finish. But why dis ashawo
dem wicked me lyk dis. Wetin I do dat devil. I com
de plan as I go tak kol effiong my man wey be police
but I com reason say police na police, I must spend
moni. Dis one nobe friend mata. D last time I go
police 2report pple wey steal fone (wey I buy 3k)
4my house, dem say I go use 5k rite statement plus
3k fuel moni. I tell dem say i kari car, dem stat de
hala me say whatif dem wan use car chase de
criminals, weda na my car dem go use?. I tok say
mak dem no vex, mak dem 4get d mata mak I go
buy new fone naim one of dem comot paper, giv me
biro say I must rite statement as evritin tak hapun.
D rest na long tori.




I use my 2nd line call ochuko, change my voice, tell
am say I see ha numba 4 sevice board, she com tell
me say we get meetin 2day by 10.am, tell me d
venue. I reach dia by 11. Wetin I see no swit my
bodi atall atall. About 17 boys and only 3 babes.
One of d babes kari pikin 4bak, wit weddin ring
4finga. D oda one slim, com ova wowo, d kain wowo
wey babe go wowo if u de Bleep am u gode avoid
2de luk am 4face becos ur prick go jus fall if u see
ha face. Nyash she no get breasstt she no get. 2mak
mata worse She stil go wia dirty baggy jeans kari
ha spageti top tuck inside de jean wit one big belt
wey don old. I jus comot mind 4d babe imediatly.



D last babe wey dey dia na d one wey standa de
tok2 d oda pple. Imediatly I see am, I rememba say
I bin de see ha posters wen SUG wan do election
wen we dey skool. ” Vote 4 ochuko ayeni AKA lady
‘O’ 4 vice-president SUG”. I rememba say e get tym
wey V.C suspend am 4rm SUG becos say she
challenge skool bursar, rite petition against am, call
police 4d man. Anoda tym she rite petition giv ha
faculty dean, e no reach 2weeks we hia say dem
don comot d man. D babe too strong. She black
wella, get avrage height, kari big breasttt. Dis babe
barb low cut jus as guy, she wear white polo Pour
wia black jacket ontop d polo wit jean trousa. She
no put makeup, she no wear any earring. As She de
tok, one guy suggest sumtin. She luk d guy, warn
am say if he interrupt am again say she go comot
am 4rm dia. de guy no tok again till meetin finish.
I kari chair sidon. Dia topic na as dem go tak hire
bus wey go kari evribodi go katsina, as dem go tak
buy food and sleep, hw much dem go pay, wich bus
dem go hire plus oda tins.
” Who b de pesin wey kol me 2days ago de tell me
say he wan tak me out “?, evriwia cold.
” I say who b d pesin wey kol me 4fone de tok say
he wan tak Im mama out?, nobodi wan tok abi?”.
Ochuko de hala.
She fix ha eyes wia evribody dey, as she de luk us
she de comot ha fone.
” Who get dis numba? 080..”, she tok my fone
numba, nobodi tok. She shout am again, nobodi still
tok.
Naim she stat de dial d numba, if I no say dis kain
tin go hapun I 4don off my fone b4 I com d
meetin…..