Must Read: How I Take Service A

7 years ago

Must Read: How I Take Service A

…..she jus standa de luk me. I de luk am she de look
me..
‘” Anita shey u tok say u wan tok 2 me, see me hia
nah, tok wetin u wan tok ‘”

I tell anita, bt she no still gree tok anytin. She jus
fold ha hands de luk me. Afta sumtime she com
finally tok..
‘” Wen u call me 4 fone ystday and I no pick am, I
dey wit my fone. I no jus wan pick ur call….'”
I cut am short as she still de tok
‘” Ehee..u no pick my call.. wetin u wan mak I do
now ?…””
She com hala wit vex
”’ Na dat tin wey i hate wia u dey…u too arrogant…
Wen I comot ur hostel on thursday, u no even boda
2 call me 4 fone knw how I dey, u no care 2 knw
weda I reach my hostel abi I no reach, infact I no
blame u, na mysef I blame…..I jus com very cheap 2
u and u use me as u like. Na wetin u and biggy de
work 4 dis camp, una jus de waka around de find
cheap girls wey una go furk. U don sample me finish
wan switch go mary abi, e nogo work 4 u….'”
I de watch dis babe as she jus de hala de go, I try
explain to am say na sleep kari me dat nite wey she
comot my hostel na why I no kol am bt she no wan
hear dat one. I com de wonda wetin mak dis babe
de vex like dis, shey na she tell me say she be
strong babe wey no get time 4 love, nobe she de
shakara 4 me since 4 camp here? , why she com de
vex becos say I no call am ? Why she de vex 4 pesin
wey she no get any feelings for?

As de babe hala finish naim she comot ha fone, say
mak I watch as she de delete my numba. She say
mak I dey ha front delete ha numba 4rm my fone bt
I reply am say nobe she go tell me wen I go delete
any numba 4rm my fone becos nobe she tell me
wen I save de numba.. As she de comot naim she
warn me make I no eva call am 4 fone and mak I
mak sure say I delete ha numba dat nite.
I comot my fone mak I call biggy ask am wia im dey
bt e com be say de battery don die. I jus enta de
hall, wit vex 4 my mind, I no jus hapi. Anita don
spoil my mood dis nite. I use style de waka up and
down mak i no weda I go see mary or biggy bt de
crowd too much, I no see any of dem….I no even see
anybodi wey I know, e com be like say anita don use
ha charm hide evribodi wey I sabi 4 dat camp, faces
wey i de see 4 hall dat nite jus strange 2 me, no
mata hw hard I try I no still see anybodi wey I knw
wey me and am go jus sidon gist, both male and
female ….I no fit go bak hostel becos soldiers don
block evriwia, dem mak sure say nobodi dey hostel.
My eyes jus de turn me like say I wan collapse. Dis
babe anita don tok confusion enta my head, na den
my belle com remind me say I neva chop since 2
pm, hunger and headache 4rm no wia jus enta my
bodi plus de heat wey dey inside de hall.
I decide mak I go chop 4 mami market use dat one
hol belle
i enta canteen, oda my food ( rice and stew ). I luk
around de area com observe sumtin…na me be de
only coppa wey dey de whole mami market dat nite.
I comot 4 de canteen luk around again, shops open
but I no see any coppa around, as I enta bak mak I
ask de woman wetin de hapun naim she warn me
say mak I do fast chop my food comot becos if
soldier catch me hia, na serios wahala 4 me. She
still tell me say if dem(soldiers) ask am she go tell
dem say she warn me bt I no gree comot…
As I chop finish, kari my meat 4 spoon wan put 4
mouth naim i site one huge, wicked soldier de waka
com straight wia I dey….
I rush trow de meat inside mouth, standa wit speed
4 my chair run enta de canteen inner room. My
heart jus de beat fast as I hide 4 bak of cupboard. I
de pray mak e be say dis army man no see me… Na
dia I dey hia de man deep bass voice as he de ask
de woman..
…”‘ Wey dat otondo wey bin de chop hia now ?”‘
I imediatly recognise de man voice..
RAMBO !!!! Again
Evriwia com silent, my mind tell me say de woman
de giv am sign wia I dey. My mind no lie.
Rambo kari im big torch enta wia I dey, flash am
diret 4 my face, drag me 4 neck comot my hiding
place…
As we comot outside de canteen, de woman run
com, say mak I pay am naim rambo hala am wit im
thunda voice
“‘ U de craze !! If u no enta inside nw I go jus scatta
dis ur shop !! We warn una say mak una no sell any
coppa food anytime dem get program 4 hall or
field..if u tok about moni again I go slap scatta dis
ur wor wor face… Banza “‘
As he hala finish naim he say mak I kneel down dia,
he kolet my I.D card and fone, leav me comot go de
check oda canteens wey dey around mak he no
weda he go see oda defaulters.
Wen he finally com bak naim he flash me torch 4
face again, com tok..
‘” I sabi dis face ….”‘
‘” Nooooo… Oga nobe dis face u sabi abeg ‘”
I tell am
‘” Shut up !!! “‘. He comand me
‘” Nobe u wey I catch d oda day inside bush wit
biggy and dat babe ?…if u deny am i go deal wit u
now “‘
I no tok. He continue
‘” U don still enta my trap again, I go show u say as
u sturborn, me sturborn pass u times 10.”‘
I try explain to am say I neva chop since aftunoon
and hunga jus de waya me like say I wan faint na
why i say mak I com chop. De man tell me say he
neva chop since yestday so mak I no jus tok
nonsense.
Rambo tell de woman mak she put rice and beans
for am, comot chair outside mak he dey dia chop
am.
As she prepare evritin finish naim rambo position de
chair 4 my front, sidon, kari im 2 heavy legs hang 4
my shoulders, adjust wella, stat de chop im food.
As he place im heavy legs 4 my shoulder de chop,
he de yab me say me na small challenge wia he dey,
say he don fite many wars 4 difrent difrent contry,
he don see many tins 4 dis lyf so mak I no tink say I
smart pass am.
He chop finish, giv me one meat mak I chop, I tell
am ‘tank u’, say I nogo chop naim de soldier stat de
rake
‘” U tink say i de joke hia !!!…comon kolet dis meat
now b4 i chook am enta ur eye..”‘
Omo I jus use speed kari de meat 4rm im plate
chop. He bring im leg down 4rm my shoulda, kari
de plate drop 4 my head say mak i no allow am fall
comot. He call de woman wey de sell food, pay 4 my
food and im own, com bak 4 de chair, sidon.
Rambo ask me my name, wia I from, wetin I read 4
skool and oda tins.. He tell me say he get two wife,
say im 1st pikin de do im masters 4 london. Me and
rambo jus de gist like papa and pikin ( de plate still
dey my head and 4rm time to time he go warn me
say if dat plate fall comot 4rm my head he go punish
me wella.)

He finally tell me say he 4rm katsina state…..

Malumfashi l.g.a…. De same l.g.a wey dem leta post
me…dis same place wey I leta meet my landlord
Alhaji zubairu, Aisha papa..

******************************

Tuesday mornin 11.am evri bodi jus de kolet dia
postin leta. Sum pple de cry becos de place wia
dem post dem far wella.
‘”Guy na Musawa L.G.A dis pple trow me go o. Wia
dem post u? “‘
Biggy ask me
‘” Omo I no even fit read wetin I de see hia sef…
Dem say na malu…ma….malufash….abi wetin sef
mtcheew ‘”
I reply am, he kolet de postin leta 4rm me….
‘” Ok malumfashi L.g. Dat place no bad nah…

Me de
redeploy go Lasgidi sharp sharp..omo I no fit dey 1
year here o “‘
I bin wan folo biggy redeploy bt I com rememba
advice wey rambo giv me de oda nite, say mak I
stay anyplace wey dem post me becos na dia my
luck fit dey shine.

All man leta go dia diffrent PPA ( place of primary
assignment). As biggy tok b4, me sef no beliv say i
go leta survive finish dis camp. Dem decamp Sum
pple wey comit Minor offences bt we wey comit
serios offences 4 dat camp jus survive evritin. As I
de reason de matta 4 bus I no jus know as i go
feel…
Biggy leta redeploy go lagos.
All of us wey dem post go malumfashi enta one bus
wey leta kari us reach our
destination……malumfashi L.G.A, wia I leta serve 4
one year……